Redeeming Relationships - Part I

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him … And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:18, 25 ESV)

Relationship is the central theme of Bible, our relationship with God and our relationships with each other. When tested by the Pharisees as to what were the most important laws Jesus replied; 

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:34-40 ESV)  

Even the Old Testament law acknowledged the centrality of relationship to the human condition, firstly our relationship with our heavenly Father and then our relationship with each other.

In Genesis, when God made a perfect partner for Adam, the Bible says, ‘they were both naked and were not ashamed’. Adam and Eve had full knowledge of each other, and yet totally accepted each other without disappointment (false expectations) and without shame (guilt and accusation). 

Here, in the very first human relationship that God ordained we have the model for right relationships- honesty and unconditional love. Contrast this with dysfunctional and hurtful relationships, where we hide behind facades and crave conditional acceptance. No wonder so many relationships are messed up.

To be both truely known and truely loved is the heart desire of every person. Only when people know who we really are and yet still love us, do we know the emotional and spiritual strength to rest and thrive in that relationship. These are the relationships for which we were created. 

Years ago we met with a couple for a meal. It was supposed to be a light social get together between two couples who would like to get to know each other a little better. Before too long the husband began to open up about their marriage. He proceeded to explain, in shockingly explicit detail, how his wife and been unfaithful to him. It was the kind of detail we would never want to know.  The wife was totally humiliated. As if things could be worse, it didn't appear that this was a recent event. The husband then proceeded to tell us of what a wonderful and faithful husband he had been, of how he had provided for her and their family and how ‘undeserving’ he was of her betrayal.

We were appalled at the brutality of the moment. On so many levels, seated before us was a real life example of the destruction wrought on human relationships by sin; self-righteousness, seeking for love outside of Godly relationships, betrayal, denial, hurt, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness. The husband’s white hot self righteousness burned in anger and hurt. He believed he was a ‘good’ man and didn’t deserve the betrayal he had suffered. In the other corner sat his beautiful bride,  fighting her own shame, denial and, most devastatingly, the emotional betrayal of her own husband. 

One way or another, all of us have suffered and caused others to suffer through symptoms of the same human disease. We are all part of a fallen human race. We were created for beautiful loving relationships but sin has etched it’s evil stain on our fallen nature.

The questions remain, is there hope for wrecked relationships? Is it possible to redeem the hurt, the guilt and the betrayal? Are they even worth restoring?

I believe there is. I believe the truth and power needed to redeem relationships is available to us through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  In the Gospel we have the redemption of our most valued relationships and the hope for us all to know and to be known, to love and to be loved.